Combining the toxic culture of #lockerroom

Drunken manhood begins young, tweeted Tuesday, referring to Instagram group Bois Locker Room, which has been trending on Twitter since May 3. An indication of how toxic boys are starting out, the group is made up of mostly teenage students from prominent schools in Delhi. The main purpose of the group is to discuss the anatomy of girls who are either student or acquaintance, share unpleasant images of most minor girls without their consent and pass on harmful statements. After a group of girls and a boy decided to break into this group's chats on Sunday, 'locker room talk' and its role in promoting rape culture became a hotly debated topic.

Many have taught that while the case is shocking and the content is moving, it has not surprised them. For things like 'locker rooms' are all around us. From private social media groups and college chats to informal offline gatherings at workplaces, there are plenty of boys - and men - and women to teach as a recreational activity.

How the begins

Male models The first introduction to this type of behavior came from male models. They saw men in their own houses talking, about how strict he was ** and 'How deep was his cleavage'. Men talk about how many women they are with, linking it to masculinity, says psychologist Dr Varkha Chulani.

Peer pressure: Social acceptance of peers means everything to young people, and they can go to any size to be part of a 'cool group', says Dr Ratna Sharma, psychologist.

'Thinking taboo' mindset: We always avoid talking about sex and sexuality. Therefore, we see young people refer to the misinformation available on the web. What do we see in pornography? This is not an act of sex but of torture. These sites are accessible to teens and that's their sex 101 education, says Dr Shalini Sharma, a physiologist. As far as schools are concerned - and I can't stress it enough - sex and mind education need to be an integral part of the curriculum, Dr Ratna said, adding, They need to know that no define the body opposite. sex. ”

The many 'boys locker rooms' around us

'Lack of action is exciting'

Rashika Kumar, a research scholar, said, In college, a boy friend of mine told me about a private Facebook group where our batchmates would share pictures of girls from college and i rate them. Later my friend called them and they kicked him out of the group. When I complained about it, they pulled the men out but the tone of the rebuke was very gentle. I vividly remember a teacher smiling and saying, 'These kids!' The sound is cute. Really annoying. ”

'Rejecting women is a rite of passage'

Devika *, an aspiring fashion designer, had to move to another college after posting her morphed pictures to a class of WhatsApp classmates. She said, Unfortunately, defining women is almost a rite of passage for most men. Such behavior is seen as something boys will do. People say they can learn when they are older. But how can they learn if you don't punish them? Behavior and culture need to be called, not just behavior. ”

'Technology is just a medium'

Abeer Sharma, a 32-year-old software engineer, who has admitted to being private in many such groups over the years, says, First at school and later at work, I see boys just sitting and talking about women in the worst of terms. At school, this guy had some pictures of a girl from class - hard copies - and he passed them on to the boys. Technology is just a medium.

'If you object, you are not one of the men'

Ravi Sharma *, a management executive, said I'm part of a WhatsApp team where men share pictures of colleagues and friends and shame on their body or pass on bad comments. I left the group but yes, I did not object to what was shared there. You can't do that because then you are ostracized. Suddenly, you're no longer one of those guys.

'At the party parties the men will discuss their coverage'

Niti Bansal *, who previously worked in a consultancy, At the office parties, a group of about 8-10 men, calling themselves the Big Boys Club, would enter a room and talk about about women. This conversation included conversations about their 'subjugations' and objectification of women around them. All of these were men of old age, some of them in their 40s with children - even daughters - of their own.

'Women calling it unfair'

Prerna Ashok, who works in the hospitality industry, saw some of her friends turn her back to college when she called some of her former classmates for spreading her pictures in a similar group. She shares, As in this case, I see women jumping into the defense of their friends, girlfriends, or siblings when they are called to be sexist. Those who oppose them will be labeled 'psycho-feminists' and 'uncool'. One of my classmates once asked me, 'Why can't you be more fond of girls?

(* Names changed)

This pyramid of rape culture created by an NGO that promotes harmonious encounters shows how the tolerance of actions below that support or demand the above actions

What to do when dealing with a locker room situation:

Let parents or teachers know if you've been added to that group

21-year-old Haris Khan, a resident of the Defense Colony, is reportedly among the first to know about this group and shared screenshots of the chats. A minor boy was randomly added to this group on Friday. He did not know a single person in the group. After seeing the conversation and photos with the group, he took screenshots and sent it to a friend whose photos were shared with the group. Then she shared the screenshots with me and I was completely preoccupied ... We tracked down eight girls whose pictures were spread across the group, five of them minors. I suggested we file a police complaint or at least report the boys' accounts. I also think we should get permission from minors if they feel comfortable taking it to their parents, ”Haris said.

So what should you do if you find yourself a part of a similar toxic group? No matter how big it is, you need to reach out to the parents or relatives you trust. Just quitting the group is not the solution. We always suggest that teens never take screenshots or pass on messages to anyone, even if their intent is to inform or warn others. Send the phone to caregivers, teachers, or parents, who can reach the police. They do not have to worry or fear if they are not satisfied with these conversations. The sooner you raise the alarm, the better, ”said Rajendra Kumar, a security expert.

Warn your child if you see him or her compelling toxic behavior

If a parent discovers that their child has been sending bad messages and/or been part of such a group, what is the best way to resolve the situation? Dr Varkha replied, The key is to educate and teach children the consequences of their actions. Ask the child to sit down, show their phone to you, and explain what he or she is thinking. Have her delete the pictures in front of you, send an apology to the person concerned and stop socializing with friends who encourage this behavior. ”

Don't be afraid to ask for help if you are a victim

One of the victims in the current case tells us, I was afraid to trust my parents because I felt they would be angry with me. I finally told them, that I would only meet a hug from my mother. He told me it was not my fault and that he and my father would stand by me. He added, Although we have a lot of support on social media, it only makes men more aggressive. They blackmailed us and they have now created another group, where they have even begun to share morphed pictures with us. They also hacked into one of the girls after this incident.

Rakshit Tandon, a cyber security advisor in the police department, who also conducts cyber security training in schools, said, Report the account immediately under the right sections - bullying, nudity, sharing disagreeable image, etc. This is important because then the social media platform can easily investigate and block the account. If the section is wrong, they will not take any action. You should also report it . You can also report anonymously. Don't contact the person who shared your photos. ”

Rooheen Kalra, advocate, and District Attorney, said, Under Section 228A of the Indian Penal Code, a victim is getting protection against showing her identity, and those investigating the case - police, lawyers, and lawyer - cannot reveal the name of the person in question in a public forum.

Bois Locker Case: Delhi updated

10 members have been identified, devices have been obtained: The Delhi Police

A statement issued by the Delhi Police says, “A FIR case under relevant sections of the IT Act and the IPC was registered at PS Special Cell and investigation has been taken up by CyPAD Unit. The concerned platform, i.e. Instagram, has been asked to provide the details of the alleged accounts involved in the group. The details are awaited. As of now, about 10 members of the group have been identified. The identified members who are major, are being examined. The minor members of the group are being dealt with as per the provisions of the Juvenile Justice Act. The devices used to engage in the offensive, vulgar communication have been seized from the identified group members. ”

Must provide strict penalties: DCW

Swati Maliwal, the chairman of DCW, said, So far, a boy has been arrested and police are questioning others. All of them will be arrested, and as per law no matter what penalty they are due. But they must get severe penalties. The fact is that the harassment is not over and they are threatening the girls who are exposed to them.

Getting panicked calls from parents: Cyber ​​Security Advisers

Rakshit Tandon, who conducts cyber security training in schools, said, After this news went viral, I started receiving disgusting messages from parents and students. In 24 hours, I received over 300 messages. Group participants and their families also face threats on social media. We must let the law do.

Boy's parent asked that the complaint be settled

We were a group of seven girls whose pictures were shared with the group. One girl received a call from the mother of one of the boys. She wept and apologized. He added that since there are 26 boys in the group, his son should not be completely blamed. She added that she understood that her son was wrong but that he had to do something to save her. He repeatedly asked the woman to return the case, ”said a 19-year-old girl who was one of the victims. She added that the boy's mother had been in contact with the girl as they were both from the same school in Delhi.

-Includes from Ashni Dhaor, Abhimanyu Mathur, Niharika Lal, Amrita Prasad, Saptaparna Biswas, Rishabh Deb and Ismat Tahseen